steven nelms writes in the essay 's introduction that he ca n't afford his wife to be a stay-at home .
` on the contrary , i mean that i quite literally can not afford my wife to be staying at home .
` i do n't at all mean to offend anyone with this post , ' he writes .
` i 'd like to explain exactly what that means so that no one thinks i 'm in any way devaluing stay-at-home moms .